#ChokeMe

Just like with the fanny pack, there are certain trends that continue to shock me as they make their way back into popularity.

One of these is the choker. Ah, yes. The infamous, beautiful, is-she-in-pain-or-just-accessorizing choker. Made popular in the 90s by who even knows.

Even this pixelated image shows us how pivotal this trend was in the 90s. Sabrina wore it. Sabrina! Who dated Harvey, the dreamiest guy ever.

Catch our drift?

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#FannyThatPack

Happy Thursday!

This week is special because we are diving into a no good, terrible, very bad trend that has somehow made a terrific comeback.

The fanny pack.

We are in a scary time people.

It is coming back. The thing that we thought was too horrible to ever show its face again. The thing that literally has “fanny” in the name.

For some reason it is now trendy to wear a brand name fanny pack sideways on your hip over your bathing suit.

Madness.

DARE fanny

 

What was wrong with it?

What is wrong with this?

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#Moody

Happy Thursday everyone! Here we go!

Remember these?

Mood rings.jpg

Now you can only find them near the cash registers at beach novelty stores, but these used to be a thing!

Mood rings: The young Millennial’s way of determining how they were feeling.

These were like the Magic 8 balls of your soul. They could inform you of your mood without you ever having to leave your bed.

For the youngest of our readers, mood rings were something kids in the 90s accessorized with. It was a happy, cheesy time. All That was on our TVs and these cheap metal bands were around our fingers.

The idea was that the color of the ring would change depending on your mood. Oooh. Ahhh. It was magical.

There were many rumors flying around from the skeptics on why the rings actually changed colors. Some claimed it had to do with your body temperature. Others claimed that your mood determined your body temperature so, potato, potatoe.

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#FloatOn

Happy Thursday! Let’s do this!

I don’t remember the exact age cut off for this particular nightmare, but I am assuming that if you are under twenty years old, you will have no recollection of this. Which is a blessing.

For the rest of it, it is my pleasure (as it is every Thursday) to drag you through the horrifying graveyard of your childhood decisions.

Today, we are not focusing on a tragic piece of clothing as is our normal Thursday Throwback style.

Last night as I was drifting off to sleep, I began to brainstorm what 90s fashion disaster I could verbally berate this week. I mentally raided the closet of my middle school self, throwing aside misshapen jeans and ill-fitting t-shirts with bizarre graphics. And as I scanned this room of yesteryear in my brain, my eye caught on something. Past the collection of blue, green, and purple eyeshadows (so that I could match my eyeshadow to my clothes, duh), sat furniture. Furniture I bought with my own allowance money. Furniture I was sure turned my pre-teen bedroom into a cool hangout/my own living room. Basically I imagined myself living in a tiny Soho apartment as an independent woman.Well-educated inflatable

Let me clarify why I find it reasonable to rant on furniture rather than the style of the 90s.

Nothing so clearly defines where our heads were at. Maybe if we can understand why we thought this was okay, we can understand why we tried to make our heads look like some sort of hair collage and got so much amusement out of an amazing stretchy shirt.

Inflatable furniture.

This was a thing. More importantly, it was a thing that people bought. With their money. That could literally be used for anything else.

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#HairNightmare

Happy Thursday! Here we go!

We all adore Hilary Duff. What is not to love? Cheaper By the Dozen. Gossip Girl. The pop songs of the early 2000s. She is adorable and we love her.

What don’t we love? Lizzie McGuire hair. It was weird when it aired, and it is even stranger looking back from 2016.

Whilst we run around like ducks this week, let’s all take a moment to appreciate that our lives may be crazy right now, but they will never be as crazy as Lizzie’s hair.

 

What was wrong with it?

There was just a lot going on …

Crimping and standing up and accessories.

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#BubbleButt

I know y’all are super excited because today is Throwback Thursday! Which means we are mercilessly judging the fashion horrors of days past.

We’ve been at this blog for a little over a month and I continue to be shocked and horrified by the fashion decisions we felt were a good idea.

Cringe-worthy fashion trends made their way into our closets, our billboards, our lives. One such shudderingly-horrible fashion movement – Skidz.

Wearing Skidz is cool

First-off, let me state that my love of grammar and diction causes me to have a knee-jerk reaction when companies use the “z” is place of an “s.” It’s not necessary. It does not make you trendy or Millennially-minded. It makes you incorrect. Don’t do it.

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#OneSizeFitsNone

Happy Thursday! Thanks for another edition of “What on God’s green Earth … ?,” otherwise known as “Throwback Thursday.”

In the past few weeks we have addressed the horrors of make-up past, 90s denim nightmares that have since been syndicated, and purses that required their own theme songs. And yet none of these fashion woes have left me as horrifying speechless as this week’s #tbt pick.

Terrifying Mini Me

For the sake of being as kind as possible, I have cropped out this poor woman’s face.

No, this is not an ad for what can go wrong when you incorrectly use the dryer.

No, this is not a castoff photo from American Girl magazine.

No, this is not an ad for matching shirts for the whole family.

This is a shirt that was exceedingly popular in the late nineties. The appeal was … wait for it … when it wasn’t on your body, it was the size of a large social studies textbook.

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#FlipFLOP

Thursday is quickly becoming my favorite day of the week. What is better for the soul than, right before the weekend, taking a hard-hitting look at what ridiculous fools we were in our youth.

Thank goodness we have a safe place to air out our past fashion grievances. There is strength in numbers and in knowing that you were not the only human who once wore tragically crooked press-on French nails to a Chinese buffet with your parents in middle school.

Or the only sixth grader who thought it was super cute to wear my father’s oversized sweatshirts over my too-tight jeans. My middle school logic was that if you couldn’t see my muffin top, I could still pull off, “This fits, I swear!”

And yet, nothing made this adorable, I’m-a-washed-up-forty-year-old-chainsmoker-stuck-in-the-body-of-an-eleven-year-old look more complete than decorated flip flops.

That’s right.

Decorated flip flops.

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#BlueEyeshadowNightmare

 

It’s Thursday, everyone. Time to leave our insecurities at the door and really get down to the nitty, gritty of past bad decisions.

This is a painful process. We recognize this. It is not supposed to be comfortable. If it was, everyday would be a throwback day. But it’s not. Because our souls can only handle one day of intense, agonizing soul searching a week.

People, this is serious. #SparkleNightmare was one thing, but today’s exploration goes even deeper than even that shiny purse night terror. Because this disaster of fashion past happened on our faces.

That’s right. Sorry y’all, but today is middle school make-up madness.

Middle School Makeup.png

 

We have all seen that delightful picture floating around the Internet that compares today’s middle schoolers to the middle schoolers of days past.

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