You Want Me to Pay for What?

I am a law-abiding citizen. I always return to my car before the parking meter expires. I pay my taxes. If a cashier gives me too much money in change, I return the difference.

But there are a few things that exist in this world that I continue to be shocked at.

There is no basis for the unfounded surprise; I cannot explain it.

But still — when it comes to a few things, I am shocked that I have to pay for them.

Pay For What.png

High school thighs?

I replace my shorts collection every seven years or so. This is not a good thing.

The surprise of entering summer and finding that I don’t magically own a dozen new pairs of fitted shorts blows my mind.


Ugh. 8 and a half, please.

I adore having a healthy selection of shoes to choose from every morning.

In theory. This has never actually happened.

I always forget that shoes are a thing you should buy, and often.

It just feels so much more annoying than it actually is.


Music please!

Earbuds are one of those things that, once you get your free pair with your phone, you are tricked into thinking that new pairs will just magically appear when you need them.

This is a lie.

You will be expected to pay for earbuds if you need them.

Be warned.


No rain dance for me

Thunderstorms are the best. The call for coffee all day and a big sweatshirt and chocolate for dinner.

But I do not think I have actually owned an umbrella in all of my years.

I have found the occasional umbrella in my car, which is always a blessed treat on a rainy day. But umbrellas are expensive!

Twenty bucks? No. Thank. You. That money could be used for cheesecake!


Written by Shelby Dorsey,

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