Namaste, Bitches

Happy, happy Friday. I cannot stress enough how insane this week is. Thank you so much, 810ers, for loving the short blog posts of this week. We greatly appreciate your kindness and patience.

Today we are recovering from a week of travel and a diet of take-out and snacks. So naturally, with summer just around the corner, we are planning some workouts with our Nux gear soon.

As awesome as a good spin class is, sometimes it is good to take a moment and stretch it out. Enter yoga. And enter the thoughts we have during yoga.

THOUGHTSDURINGYOGA

 

Okay. This is good. I am calm.

Oh! She has the same mat as me! Yoga twinsies!

How does that girl look so cute in braided pigtails? I always look like a deranged milkmaid when I try to wear that. She’s killing it.

Is that the teacher? She’s 17, maybe. Look at her! Teaching yoga whilst still in high school?

Did she just say she is 34? Da faqqq … maybe she eats only kale … or kale with a sprinkling of lemon juice and chickpeas. I should eat more chickpeas. Maybe it would make my skin look that glorious also.

Here we go. We are doing it. We are doing the thing.

I feel so great about everything. Here I am, working out. I may even have tea for dessert tonight instead of chocolate cake. But, I don’t want the chocolate cake to go bad … maybe it would be better if I just eat the whole thing tonight and get rid of those calories and start again tomorrow.

Ooh! That feels good! Good stretch!

Shit, shit. Ouch. God. Bad stretch.

Where is Child’s Pose? And why is no one else in this room acting like Downward Dog is the hardest thing ever? This is exhausting.

I am grossed out by the state of my yoga mat. Am I supposed to dust this thing?

That woman in the front is killing this. She is so much better at this. Good for her.

Why does she even bother saying, “For those of you who are advanced, you can take this move further by doing blah blah blah”? She should just say, “Shelby, stay in Happy Baby. The rest of you, do actual exercise.”

I just wanna die. I want to die on this mat and never leave.

Ooh! Meditation time? I can get on board with meditation time!

I think I fell asleep there for a minute …

Yoga is delightful. This is the best. I never want to this again.

 

Written by Shelby Dorsey, sadorsey@live.com
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